Four Shots of Rum
by Krissy4
Summary: [CATS] Confessions by Rumpus Cat, The Rum Tum Tugger, Rumpelteazer and Jellylorum.
1. Rumpus Cat

You all know me. It's kind of hard not to know me. I'm one of the only cats that Pollicles are afraid of. That's me; the Great Rumpus Cat. Or, at least that's what every cat knows about me. They know everything about me but not much about what's behind it. For example;

_His eyes were like fireballs, fearfully blazing_

That's 100% true. I have burning red eyes. And they are rather frightening if I do say so myself. It's not exactly natural though. It's my allergies. And here's the part that's the real kick in the pants... If I wore pants, that is. Let's say 'kick in the collar' instead. I'm allergic to fur. Fur! Of all things for a cat to be allergic to I was lucky enough to get the one thing I can't get rid of! Don't think that I didn't try though. I tried ripping it out of my chest but it hurt like a bloody Peke. That's actually how I ended up getting that 'R' on my chest. I ripped out the middle part of it and screamed like a Queen in love with that Tugger fellow. I made the rest of it white with some paint I found. But my eyes are constantly itchy and burning. I can't really rub them or else I get more fur in them; which hurts even more. I don't like to talk much either; what with my nose always being stuffy. Although it does make my voice deeper and more threatening...

_He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing_

Of course they're amazing. I do try to take good care of them. After all if I'm not going to talk, all I do is give them a dazzling smile and they swoon... if they're Queens. Some times if they're Toms too. Most of the time they take it as my way of saying 'No Problem!', And it is too. But 'amazing' might be a bit of a stretch. There was this one Pollicle I came across, got a real close up look of his jaws. Now he had some amazing teeth.

_And when he looked through the bars of the area; you never saw anything fiercer or hairier. And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning..._

Ah, the fur problem again. Let's not get back into that. And the jaws again; there's just something about shiny teeth that make it seem as if they can tear you apart. That's where the fierce part comes from. I am anything but fierce though; I am petrified of those damn Pekes and Pollicles. The only difference between me and the other cats is that I'm stupid enough to try to take them on. Besides, they usually run when they see my 'terrifying' red eyes.

_The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning_

They are so easy to scare... its pathetic really. A Tom with horrible allergies is all it takes to make them whimper. Then only thing I can see that is worst then being scared by that Tom, is being that Tom. Trust me on that one. It's not exactly a walk in the park. Those human medicines for allergies don't work on cats. Trust me on that one too. It's the ultimate catnip and you hurt... a lot. I thought that I was going to die for a while when I was on it. Scary stuff.

_He looked to the sky and he gave a great leap. And then every last one of them scattered like sheep._

I was looking to Heavyside and praying that it would work again. There was a few times when my appearance wasn't scary enough to get rid of them. Thankfully, there weren't any other cats around and I decided to play dead. The darn Pollicles got so confused they weren't sure what to do, and just walked off. They were really close calls. Most of the time you just have to scare one of them and the others follow the suite. Luckily there's usually a jumpy Pug there to pick on. Kind of like Demeter Queen from my Tribe. It's pretty funny actually when it works.

I wasn't quite sure what Munkustrap was on when he was singing this but he should really get some help to get off of it. Maybe someone should talk with him... Now if you'll excuse me, I got some allergies to try to tend to.

* * *

A/N: The first confession is up. _Bah-day!_ (My new 'Hooray') I'm so happy that I finally got his up. I still have to work on the other three; I usually finish a story before I post it but... I've been jumping between fanfics that I'm writing so it's getting kind of hard now. I have six little (Loud and Disobedient) cousins at my house and I just got back from **Dundee** two days ago. _Fun._ And I'm going to **Halifax **on Monday to see my other cousins and get pink in my hair. _Finally_. Then on Thursday it's back to school. _Boo_. But that means that **Drama** and **Cheerleading** will be starting back up. _Bah-day!_

Oh, and I got '**The Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats**' last Tuesday. It's already dog-eared from me reading it so much. Well, this is going out to Poet as a Birthday Pressie. _Happy 16th_. I'll make a copy of the movie as soon as you update you stories.... You'll never get it.

_...knick knack pally whack, give the Peke a bone. This old man came rolling home._


	2. Jellylorum

Have you ever told some one some thing and they were really excited and proud of you. And did the misinterpreted it and it made them even happier? Were you able to tell them the truth? I wasn't. You see, when I was little I told my father, Asparagus, that I wanted to be an entertainer. He was ecstatic. He hugged me and began crying. He said that he's so happy that I want to follow in his footsteps. It was his dream that one day I would be an actress. _An actress_? That's where he went wrong. I didn't want to be on stage or in movies all glamour up; wearing beautiful collars as I acted. I didn't want to have to speak in from of people and cats on stage. I have terrible stage fright and I tend to freeze up in front of crowds, no matter how small it is. I can't speak, I forget my words instantly.

That is exactly why I wanted to be a Mime. I seen them on the street one day performing and I was entrapped. Their black and white makeup was simple yet exquisite. It enhanced their expressions so much more and they were always joking around. They have fun by doing the simplest of things, such as being trapped in a box. I loved it. I wanted to be just like them. I kept going back to see them after I was done rehearsals with my father. They were always much more serious with acting. If you forget a word it's like the end of the world, as a Mime, I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting what my next line was.

That was when I was younger though. They don't come out on the streets as often. I'm still on stage but when ever I see one, I always try to resist the urge to join them. I'd watch them for hours and drop some token of appreciation in to their hats, such as a mouse or my latest piece of knitting. I did bring my father by one day to show him them. He wasn't pleased with their work. Although my father did enjoy doing pantomime on stage, the street seemed to turn him off. Saying that they were simply people with broken dreams and no where to go. They obviously weren't good in anything so they chose the one thing that needed no talent. That hurt me. I found their act beautiful and funny and simply magical, my father saw it was something that a Pollicle stepped in.

So, I never told him. I never told him how much I wanted to be like them. How much I wanted to be on the streets having fun instead of on stage being bored out pf my fur. I knew for sure that he wouldn't approve. He's old and feeble now and I was stupid enough to promise him that I wouldn't give up stage acting after he died. He knew that in a few years time that I'd have more of a name for myself then I already did. He said that I could travel the world as an acting cat like he did in his youth... I don't know if I want to. I think that he suspected what I wanted to be or else he wouldn't have made me promised him. The thing that he didn't think of is that... promises can be broken.

* * *

**A/N:** So this one is a little more angsty. Make that quite a bit more. What are you going to do about it? I wrote this chapter in, like, ten minutes. I was so proud of myself, I had an energy rush from the KD [I love Kraft Dinner. Woo] Rum Tum Tugger is next; I'll have to start work on him soon.

For now I have to go pack for Halifax and enjoy the silence of the house. My cousins left today. Bah-day! Well, it would have been days ago now, I'm posting this after I get back from Halifax so it'll be Wednesday. (Its Sunday now) ... Now I just confused myself.

Well (Now it's Wednesday. Confusing ain't it) and school starts again tomorrow. I don't want to go. I spent three hours in a car; I have a head ach and just plain am not feeling well. We'll see how I am in the morning.

Super Poet Gurl – _SHE LIVES!_ I'm glad you updated, it didn't take me too long If long at all to read you chapter. And no you can't have it. I said stories. Plural; so devious. You're welcome for the dedication. It's a whole story just for you. You should read their stories first to show them that you're interested. It's how I got my reviewers... Who I love

Chimalmaht – I'm glad that you like it. I can sympathize with Rumpus though; I'm allergic to fur too. And Jellylorum, sort of I want to be on stage when I'm older and my mom says that it'll be a good hobby. _A Hobby!_ Get real. I'm going to do it professionally.

You're lucky you only got 5 loud and disobedient little cousins. I have 6 little cousins on my Dad's side and 18 on my Mom's. I'd have 20 but my aunt just had two miscarriages. Sad stuff. But I'm glad that there's someone else out there suffering with me.

DemiGold – Thanks. I take pride in my work. Sorry that this one wasn't as funny. Tugger should be though.

Tie Kerl – I won't freak out like I did in that letter I sent you. I went back to Neptune yesterday to pick up a schedule. Mom's going to bring me to see 'Annie' there, or at least she's going to try. I'm still going to read yours. I can't wait to see what it'll be like.

Roman de la Croix – I wasn't really intending for it to be. This one isn't at least. I'll take it as a compliment.

Anjerla – Yeah... I don't take that as criticism. You're just pointing out my mistake. That's fine. I kind of messed that up didn't I? I'll fix it later so that he's scared of them or something. That's for the input.

_...Here is my handle, here is my... darn. Sugarbowl._


	3. Rum Tum Tugger

_The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat_

Too true; I am curious. I want to know what makes the world orbit around the sun; if there really is a life after death. If I'll have regrets before I die; what it feels like to be loved; to be hated. I'm curious about a lot of things. Not just Queens. They aren't my life and they aren't my hobby. They're just there. Like some bird eating birdseed that I pass while walking around, it was just there. Nothing special. I shouldn't say that though; there really are some special cats in the Tribe when you sit and talk with them.

That's always a turn off with the Queens. I flirt with the Queens, shamelessly I must add. They, and everyone else, end up thinking that I'm some kind of womanizer. I'm not though. I just don't want to loose the attention. The attention from the Queens, the Tom's who look up to me like I'm some kind of hero. So, I take the Queen back to my place and she's in the mood to... you know. I, on the other paw, am perfectly happy just lying in bed with them in my arms talking. Most Queens end up leaving when they find out that I don't want to do anything with them. It's for the best though; most of the Queens are much too young for that kind of thing. Bombalurina's about the only Queen that stays, the others always come back to the group the next day.

When I was small, I was the odd cat out; because I was odd. I liked to read, a lot. It was my favorite thing. I'd read real books, not some fruity tooty story about an ugly duck. One about how cars work, what humans did with their lives, or what it was like back in the 1700's. I wanted to be the smartest cat in the Tribe, next to Old Deuteronomy of course. I am too, most just won't bother looking past my looks, if they make it through the shield of Queens, to talk with me. They'll go to Munkustrap or Mistofelees; like they know anything. I was odd in looks too. The Rum Tum Tugger wasn't always as well off as he is now. My leopard spots looked like they were out of place and I didn't have my mane. That's an attachment. One day I was bit by a Pollicle and got this huge scar around my neck from his teeth. Deuteronomy was kind enough to get it for me. I have no idea where he got it but it sure did make me feel better. It covered up the scar and it made me feel special since all the cats really seemed to like it.

Later on I tried to learn different languages. It wasn't too hard. My human likes to watch soap operas. In every language; she just puts the English captions on and she knows what's happening. The Toms started to say that it was so I could pick up Queens in different parts of the world. So I stopped. Nobody in the Junkyard knew what I saw saying anyways. My attempt at being an artist didn't work out too well either. One day I saw this sunset, first one I ever say. It was _breath taking_; Orange; pink; red; yellow; purple; blue. I was inspired. The next day I gathered up all the paints I could find and waited for nightfall. I set to work dipping my paws into the paint and spreading it on a piece of cardboard I found. I must say it was going rather well. Then Alonzo and Munkustrap tackled me. I fell down the hill, got covered in paint. My picture... it didn't survive. I never did it again. I got in trouble with Jennyanydots, what with all the paint in my fur; it took ten hours to get it all out. Especially with my mane.

I still read, in the privacy of my own home. Bombalurina asks me weekly what I learned. She likes to listen. I think she wants there to be more to her then just a flirt. She's pretty neat like that. She can see the Tom beneath the mane. If only everyone else could too.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay. It seemed funnier in my head. This is more depressing... [Sniffle] Well, there's only one left. And I need to figure out how I'm going to do her. [Sigh]

School started on Thursday and we have a **Drama Meeting** tomorrow. Woo hoo! I'm so happy about that. We might be doing a tribute to Broadway, which I am, so _frigging ecstatic_ about. **Cheerleading** tryouts should be soon too. And my doctor's appointment in Sydney's soon too. Bah. Two hour car drive. Oh well. I can't wait for school tomorrow [I must be coming down with something] but it's mainly for drama. I should finish my Art homework.

Super Poet Gurl – What play we're doing? I'm not sure about normal play but for a musical we may do 'Tribute to Broadway' or, as Sara wants to, 'Chicago.' Who knows? And everyone has been in a misunderstanding. Like me and my dad. He said I'll have my bedroom by February, I though that he meant last February. How wrong was I?

Chimalmaht – Yeah, I do have a lot. That's without counting my second cousins (Who are close to us.) I do have some that I never see, well, rarely see. I still love them though.

DemiGold – I don't think I ever saw a mime in real life. Then again, our town's a little too small for a mime. Oh well, I hope you liked it.

Tie Kerl – Maybe she should be a mime in all stories so she will be in character... hmm. Who Knows? I do find her hard to characterize, I just got off luck with this one. Thanks for reading.

_And she'll promise you more then the Garden of Eden. And she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding..._


	4. Rumpelteazer

A knock about Cockney clown....

That's me in everyway; always cheerful, giggling, up to no good. I'm a thief; what can I say? How about _'Bull'_? I am not the perky, little, happy go-lucky Queen everybody thinks I am. Sure, I'm smaller then most cats my age and I do get mistaken for a kitten at first glance, so does Misto. I am a Queen; I'm sure of that. So is Mungo. I mean, he's sure that I'm a Queen; not, he is a Queen. We don't want any rumors flying around, now do we? But... yeah. I don't know. I am what they see me as, but somehow it just doesn't feel like that's who I am.

I know; I should know what I'm like, no one's with me more then me. That's the thing; I'm usually not with myself. Confusing, isn't it. I'm not sure who I am anymore. That's probably the better way to put it. I spent so much of my life working for Macavity that I got messed up. I would lie to the cats I shared an alley with about what I was doing and where I was going, I'd have to lie about myself when I went undercover as a spy for him. I'd need a whole new life when that happened. The Junkyard was lucky enough to get another one of my personalities, so did the humans who took me in. Although, I did bless the Yard with the Cockney accent. Sometimes I have to pretend that I'm Mungojerrie when Macavity sends me on a run. I was always his little ball of clay; when he was done using me for something, he's crush me, reshape me and I'd be different. Some where's along the way I suppose that I just lost myself.

I did try to find myself sometimes. You know, just get away from everyone for a day or so and see what I do. They always come looking for me, especially Mungojerrie. He worries about me too much and he knows who he is. He was never sent undercover at a different spot every week. I tried to meditate to see if that did anything. It gave me the best sleep I ever had in Cat knows when, but I was still the fake I was when I started. I even went to Coricopat and Tantomile to see if they could find me somewhere in my mind, it was worth a shot. But my mind, apparently, is too scattered for them to concentrate on. So it's all up to me.

I woke up sometimes remembering what I was like, so I tried to be like the old me again. But I felt like I was supposed to be on stage acting with Gus. I think I just dreamt of one of my alias; I was faker then Tugger's mane. I don't know, maybe I'm not suppose to go back to my old life, maybe I'm cursed to be like this forever. An empty shell who can't get rid of an accent, no matter how hard I try. I did manage once, it felt weird talking with out it and it made all the other cats laugh. But I miss me; I want to be who I used to be. I felt happy back then. Not that I'm not happy now, I just never had to make myself smile like I do now. It was natural, my current one is forced.

I suppose that it is easier to be who they think I am instead of trying to prove them wrong. I only wish someday I'll grow into me and learn to be happy again...

* * *

A/N: that came out rather nicely. I had no idea what to do with Rumpel, I was lost in a sea of.... Lost people? Anyways, I wrote the first little tid-bit and was going to stop when I figured that I should keep going before I drown in the people.... I need a better simile for next time.

So I had the drama meeting, me and Tracey really want to do the **Broadway Review** but now we (The group) are talking about doing **The Christmas Carol**. I don't know. I rather do the review. And I'd _rather_ go as Rumpelteazer to the Halloween Dance but if I can only find black spandex I'll have to alter it and go as Jemima. They're both cute so I win either way. I need to re-dye my hair too; the pink's washing out on top... Bah.

**Kassoro** – Sorry I missed you last time. Woopsie. You never know. _If you can get super-hero powers from a spider; why not allergies?_ It could work.

**Super Poet Gurl** – I must say; your reviewing habits have greatly improved. I'm very proud of you. As for my room it's '_on the top of his pile._' Yeah...

**Chimalmaht** – Yeah, then we'd be talking about him in English class... I'm serious. Our teacher has their fetish with talking about psycho people. Like that woman who drowned her seven kids, the guy from 'Tell-tale Heart', mass murderers, stoning people. She's starting to scare me. I want to see 'Guys and Dolls.' Can you get me a ticket to it? And directions to... where ever it is you live, well go to school. And a few days to drive there possibly fly. We'll work it out later.

**Jing** – Could you wait? I hope you could because you had no choice. Sorry.

**Tie Kerl** – That is creepy. Do you have one on Thursday too? I want to see that too. The school band went to see it some years ago and we have a poster from it in the Music Room. He does kind of ac lie a brainless idiot sometimes in the move though... But he could have been acting. Which is probable; considering that _it is_ a play. I need to find me a copy of JCS and watch it...

**Lozzypop** – Yeah, there's more then one side to every cat. He needed another one... or at least I thought so. I kind of based it on my situation, except I want to be on stage and my parents want me to be a Mime. Okay, that's a lie. They want me to do something more... practical with my life. And I'm sure that nobody saw the 'smart' Tugger coming. I mean, someone might have, but not everybody. I'm glad that you liked it.

_Do you know the Munchkin Man, the Munchkin Man, the Munchkin Man? Do you know the Munchkin Man who lives in Munchkin Land?_


End file.
